Surgery, and the recovery period, shows you just how impatient both yourself and the world is.

It’s incredible, just how many people have asked me if I’m all better, fully healed, going for long walks and social outings, and back at work already. Yet I haven’t been cleared yet to lift anything heavy, or even take a bath or go swimming - one of the lowest impact exercises.

And I’m railing against these restrictions.

I crave a hot, salty bath, many times a day. It would help with all the muscle aches and pains from changing weather causing the fibromyalgia symptoms to flare. It would help relax my upper back and neck muscles which are pulling my cervical spine out of alignment again and causing nasty headaches and wrist neuralgia. It would encourage sleep!

My first social outing was to a family dinner last Saturday, 5.5 weeks after the hysterectomy. I was feeling quite ok, and considering contacting my students to take interim lessons before I go on the rehabilitation retreat that the hospital promised me. I mentioned I was impatient, didn’t I?

I lasted only two hours. Two hours!?!

And I was sitting down most of that time, albeit in a position which squished my belly more than usual.

The pain and cramping started to build, I found it difficult to follow one conversation amidst the many that were buzzing around me (not one of my skills at the best of times, let alone in a non-native tongue).

Teaching even one 2.5 hour class, where I’m standing most of the time and being energetic and extroverted, is clearly completely out of the question.

Oy. Reality hit hard.

It’s no wonder the hospital aren’t rushing to organise the Anschlussheilbehandlung (rehab retreat). I need to first be allowed to swim (fully healed inside and out), and have the energy to go to classes throughout the day, from breakfast until dinner.

I’m still impatient to have energy, to take a bath, to be able to get out and walk lots, to garden and just do things. But I’m going to be gentler on myself and give myself more time to heal.

Instead, lots of meditation, gentle stretching, writing, reading, and things with a lower energy requirement are in order.